SHOW ME

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Frequently Or Infrequently Asked Questions

Q: What?

A: Frequent.

Q: Why me?

A: Frequent.

Q: Did you see what they did to that House bill on C-SPAN last night?

A: Infrequent.

Q: How do you spell "phlebotomist" again - one "f" or two?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Are you going to eat that?

A: Frequent.

Q: That Confederate flag on your bumper - is that intended to be ironic?

A: Infrequent.

Q: What possible benefit could an actor of Steven Segal's talents derive from a relationship with organized crime?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Gold, with a density of 19.3, weighs 1204.7 lbs. per cubic foot. The golden plates of the Book of Mormon are reported to have been 7" x 8" by about 6", and thus would have weighed approximately 230 lbs. How did Joseph Smith carry home the golden plates of the Book of Mormon, and how did the witnesses lift them so easily?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Are you kidding?

A: Frequent.

Q: Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Seriously?

A: Frequent.

Q: Was Mozart murdered by Freemasons for revealing their secrets in his opera, The Magic Flute?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Would you like fries with that?

A: Frequent.

Q: I have a few extra items, I like to tell rambling stories and I'm paying in change. Would it be inconvenient for anyone here if I stay in this "Express" check-out lane anyway?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Huh?

A: Frequent.

Q: Under my visa as a temporary nonresident alien, I'm not subject to social security and Medicare withholding. My employer withheld the taxes from my pay. What should I do to get a refund of my social security and Medicare?

A: Infrequent.

Q: Mozart vs. Joseph Smith - who'd win?

A: Infrequent.

2 comments:

matthew said...

This is brilliant!

Jeremiah McNichols said...

Likewise your comment! Thanks.